The Path to True Happiness is Paved with Struggle

"You need to suffer to be happy"

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

Why? Because true happiness isn’t just about the outcome; it’s a by-product of the effort, the process, and the struggle that precedes the result. Without struggle, the reward often feels empty or undeserved. Consider this: having a successful business can create happiness, but there’s a stark difference between inheriting a thriving company and building one from the ground up. The latter brings a profound sense of pride and fulfilment because happiness stems from the effort invested and the challenges overcome. This also explains why some people feel unfulfilled even after achieving their goals—if the path to success is too easy, the accomplishment loses its meaning. As the Dalai Lama, reminded us, “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”

The Role of Struggle in Happiness

If we try to shortcut achieving true happiness by avoiding challenges or taking the easy way out, we might still reach the outcome, but the happiness will be fleeting. The more challenges you overcome, the greater the reward and the deeper the sense of joy. Moments of joy are what lead to happiness.

Think about the things you’re most proud of in your life. Chances are, they required significant effort, persistence, sometimes discomfort, and the need to embrace uncertainty. This is precisely why they bring you such a sense of fulfilment—some of my most significant moments of happiness included making life-changing decisions to walk away from toxic relationships and start again. Completing my master’s degree as a mature student to prove I could, even though I did not finish high school. Making a meaningful impact as a leader in an organisation I loved working in. Starting my own business and learning the skills of an entrepreneurial mindset after being an employee for 40 years.

None of these achievements came quickly. Each required hard work, resilience, and pushing through challenges. The struggle—the 4 am mornings, moments of doubt, relentless determination, and self-limiting beliefs, made these accomplishments worthwhile.

To experience true happiness and fulfilment, you must earn it. This means embracing struggle as a necessary part of the journey rather than viewing it as a roadblock. Here are three steps to help you get started:

1. Set Goals and Celebrate Progress

Happiness is built step by step. Start by setting small, achievable goals that move you closer to your bigger aspirations. Each step forward is an opportunity to build confidence and celebrate your progress. These small victories keep you motivated and remind you that the journey itself is rewarding.

2. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities

Expect challenges along the way, and instead of dreading them, view them as opportunities for growth. Struggles are not signs of failure but necessary hurdles that shape your character and resilience. When you face challenges with this mindset, you’ll see them as integral to your journey toward true happiness.

3. Persevere Through the Hard Times

Persistence is key. When you encounter difficulties, remind yourself of your goal and the fulfilment it will bring. Remember, the deeper the challenge, the greater the reward. Perseverance through tough times strengthens your resolve and appreciation for your achievements. True happiness doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort or taking shortcuts. It comes from facing challenges head-on, learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, persevering through adversity, and emerging stronger on the other side. Your struggles become part of your story and give meaning to your accomplishments.

If you want to be genuinely happy and fulfilled, embrace the struggle. Recognise that happiness isn’t something you can buy, inherit, or simply stumble upon. It’s something you earn through effort, persistence, and resilience. Begin by redefining what happiness means to you and take the necessary steps to create a life that reflects this understanding. Set goals, welcome challenges, and persevere through adversity. By doing this, you’ll find that true happiness lies not in avoiding struggle but in discovering meaning and fulfilment through it.

So, don’t shy away from hard work. Embrace the struggle, knowing it’s essential to the journey towards a happy and fulfilling life. Because in the end, the happiness you earn is the happiness that lasts.