In his book 'The Speed of Trust', Stephen M. R. Covey discusses the five waves of trust, beginning with self-trust. These five waves are a metaphor for how trust functions in our lives, starting with each individual and creating a ripple effect on the world around us.

This metaphor reminds us that everything is a choice, and our choices affect ourselves and others.

The first wave is self-trust, which is vital for effective leaders. Self-trust arises from our character, who we are, and, more importantly, who we aim to be. This is where choices begin to hold significance.

Everything is a choice.

Our character is built on integrity and intent. Integrity reflects who we are and the alignment between our commitments and actions, which are driven by our intent.

This is important because leadership is about helping others to be their best. When we show up for ourselves with integrity, we build trust. Integrity involves being congruent and honest inside and out, walking your talk, acting according to your values and beliefs, and embodying humility and authenticity as a leader.

Integrity exists when there's no or low gap between intent and behaviour, enabling trust to flourish.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”.

Theodore Roosevelt

Our integrity flows from our intent, which relates to our motives, agendas, and behaviour. Motives are the reasons behind our actions; they concern caring for ourselves and others. The ‘why’ drives the ‘what.’

As Theodore Roosevelt said: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”. Our agenda comes from our motives. It is what we intend to do because of our motive, and it is where we demonstrate transparency of our intent because an agenda that inspires the most significant trust is generally one that seeks mutual benefit.

Our behaviour usually stems from our motives and agendas, where we show openness. When there’s no gap between intent and behaviour, integrity exists; thus, trust can flourish.

Reflect on how you are showing up for yourself and others and consider these three ways to enhance your character traits to foster trust:

#1. Make and keep commitments to yourself

When you say you will do something, follow through. This is the most effective way to cultivate trust in yourself and your integrity. However, it can also be quite challenging. Committing to others can often be easier because they are separate from us, yet genuine trust begins within. Therefore, upholding the commitments we make to ourselves is crucial for developing our trust muscle.

I have wanted to commit to not having a glass of wine every night to help me relax. However, I often had the wine and continued to work, creating a significant gap between my intent and my behaviour. After over 12 months of focusing on keeping my commitments, I finally achieved my intention.

#2. Be clear about what you stand for, and be honest with yourself

Understand what you value and believe in, and ensure they align with your vision for the success you want to achieve. Each day, ask yourself if you’re being honest. Is what you just said or did based on your values and stemming from a genuine desire to serve yourself and others?

My number one value is health. However, my impulse to have a glass of wine wasn’t in line with this value, which made me feel incongruent and less trusting of myself. I’m bridging that gap to ensure no disconnect between my intentions and actions to achieve my health goals and align with my values.

#3. Examine and refine your motives and declare your intent

When engaging with others, reflect on whether the right reasons drive your actions. In your communication, articulate your intent and agenda as a solid way to demonstrate openness. Use your values as a reference point to steer your behaviour in line with your intent.

I journal my goals, intentions, and gratitude for the day's opportunities in the morning. I often then write about what is essential. In the evening, I journal my actions, whether I have achieved my daily goals and intentions, and express my gratitude for what has been achieved. This has been a powerful way to build discipline and focus on what I want most rather than what I want now.

We build our integrity by nurturing our character, which helps us foster self-trust.

Think of integrity as the roots of a magnificent tree, with intent acting as the trunk. We are all works in progress, constantly learning and growing like a tree. When the roots are strong in integrity, and the trunk is firmly aligned with intent, the tree’s leaves and flowers thrive, just as our character does.

Trust grows when your beliefs, words, and actions are in harmony. By consistently making and honouring commitments, remaining true to your values, and being open about your motives, you strengthen your character and nurture trust in those around you.

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